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Monday, February 17th, 2003
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3:39 pm - Too Bad I Can't Get "Frequent Driving Miles"
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Holy shit Batman! I swear I've never put so many miles on my car in one month's time than I have during this last month. Last weekend I racked up close to 450 and right now (when I haven't even drive the 130 miles back to Storm Lake) I'm looking at close to 500. I had to drive to Omaha Thursday, then drove home, then Friday I drove to Newtonia, Saturday: to the hospital to see my gramps who just had open heart surgery (don't gasp..he's doing damn good), then drove to my house...put laundry in and skee-dattled quicker than I ever thought I could to drive back to Newtonia to spend the night with JD; Sunday: left Newtonia around 5pm and drove home only to find my parents were "out" so I decided I'd just stay at my house until Monday at 6:30 am when I would drive back to Storm Lake for class. Yeah, well that was LAST NIGHT and I didn't go to bed (or at least lay in my bed) until like 1:45 and then I just stared at the backs of my eye lids for 2 hours trying to cool my body down because I was sweating like a mo-fo! Shy-zah! The whole time I was staring at the backs of my eye lids I was contemplating whether or not classes today really mattered enough to drive all the way to Storm Lake.
So, um yeah...about that! There's one big decision I had to make this morning (after getting up and showering to make it appear as though I was driving back to BVU) when I was driving toward I-80...whether or not to turn left (Storm Lake), or stay in the right-hand turn lane (Newton). Yeah...I hung a right. So, I surprised JD while he was getting ready to go to work by telling him to unlock his door--he told me I was a nerd, but I KNOW he was stoked! So, I went back to bed until noon (only 4 hours added to my 1.5 hours I got at home, but what the heck...I'll catch up some other time!).
Here I sit...in the Newton Public Library, armed with my trusty and BRAND SPAKING NEW Newton Library Card...which gives me access to ONE, count it...ONE HOUR of Internet time; I've spent the last 40 minutes writing and responding to e-mails from people and letting my professors know that cough...cough...my car wouldn't start this morning so I'm still stuck in Des Moines until tomorrow morning. I swear...I'll do almost ANYTHING not to have to be up there.
But hey! My birthday is in 2 days and I get to get SMASHED again (I forgot to tell you I got hammered for no reason whatsoever last Wednesday watching American Idol and The Bachelorette) with Taylor. It was funny stuff. I was babbling and who knows what kind of weird shit I was saying. So, yeah...since I was born at 7:32 pm on Feb. 19th, 1981 I've decided that I'll start CELEBRATING (ie drinking myself stupid) at 7:32 pm on Feb. 19th, 2003! Sounds like a plan don't it?
YOU SHOULD COME PARTY WITH ME MAL!!!! Long ass drive though dude, that would suck. I'll pralle try to talk to you online though if I remember...could be an interesting convo for you--unless you're, well..."out of it" too. Nee Ner...Nee Ner!
Well, I think my ONE HOUR of time at the Newtonia Public Library Internet Portal Station #3 has almost drawn to a close. Wish me luck as I venture into the wild (not even close to cleared from the 6" of snow we got) streets of Newton on my way to Hy Vee and Wal-Mart. Go me!
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| Monday, February 10th, 2003
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12:51 pm - Cowboy Take Me Away.............yes please please please!
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Keep in mind: although JD did grow up in the country he is in NO WAY a cowboy...just a good song
I said I wann touch the earth, I wann break it in my hands
I wanna grow something wild, and unruly
I wanna sleep on the hard ground, in the comfort of your arms
on a pillow of blue bonnets, in a blanket made of stars
Oh it sounds good to me
I said,
Cowboy take me away, fly this girl as high as you can into the wild blue
Set me free, oh, I pray, closer to heaven above, and closer to you
Closer to you!
I wanna walk and not run, I wanna skip and not fall
I wanna look at the horizon, and not see a building standing tall
I wanna be the only one, for miles and miles
except for maybe you, and your simple smile
Oh it sounds good to me
Yes it sounds so good to me
Cowboy take me away, fly this girl as high as you can into the wild blue
Set me free, oh, I pray, closer to heaven above, and closer to you
Closer to you!
I said, I wanna touch the earth, I wanna break it in my hands
I wanna grow something wild and unruly
Oh it sounds so good to me
Cowboy take me away, fly this girl as high as you can into the wild blue
Set me free, oh, I pray, closer to heaven above, and closer to you
Closer to you!
Closer to you, closer to you...
Cowboy take me away, closer to you...
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12:21 pm - Will I ever be happy?
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This weekend was quite the eventful one. First, I took off from school to be home Thursday night (just because I CAN--so there!) and be at home for my sickly lil brother, Tim, who had been running a temp over 100 for 4 straight days. The kid was pissing me off so badly because even though he WAS sick, yeah yeah, he was milking it for all it's worth. I will not EVER deny the fact that I am like a 2nd mother to the child, but there's a fine line where my patience ends and my bitchiness begins. I'm like, "You're not dying child, so don't make me miserable because you feel that way...just go to sleep so I don't have to listen to you whine!" It was seeeeeeeeeeeeriously starting to drain me.
So I was hangin out with him for awhile on Friday morning until about 2pm when I had to drive to Pella, Iowa to Jenen's Auto Repair to get my Grand Am worked on. I got this "URGENT RECALL NOTICE" in the mail in late January (actually it was addressed to my dad since he owns the car) and I had to go to their shop so they could fix an ignition wire that melts down. Lemme tell ya, that made me feel REAL safe driving around. Who knows how long that thing's been screwed. SHY-ZAH!
From Pella I drove to Newton to see JD (my man) and I went to Wal-Mart (where he's an Assistant Store Manager) to get the key to his place and was informed, "Don't lose it!" giggles! So, I went to his place and sat on my ass for like 5 hours listening to his dumb toilet make the weirdest sounds. Yes! I am officially a plumber now...I fixed the fucker! JD got home around 10 pm and I was forced to watch "Spawn" because, in his words: "I've got cable and you're still watching stupid regular channel shows?" Shit, it was Will & Grace for crying out loud...so sue me! It was funny because after that it was:
1. Damn woman! You got every light on in this place?
2. Holy shit it's fucking hot in here...what do you have it on,
like 100 degrees?
3. So, what you wanna make me a pizza?
I'm just like, "uh ok babe...sure, bitch and moan before even saying HELLO, and then think that I'm gonna want to make you a pizza! That story makes him sound like an ass, but you'd have to know how JD is...it's all in good fun and he knows that it gets under my skin and then all he has to do is smile at me and make me laugh at him just because he has that "power" and everything is fine. Yes we are an odd duo!
I left JD's place around 3pm Saturday and drove home where I found my brother, still sickly, all by himself. My parents were at work all weekend and when my dad got home (yeah, boy that just made my day...NOT!) I was greated with, "Why aren't you at JD's?" like I'm supposed to spend my entire weekend with JD and just be a drain on him or something. My mom got home (for once I actually like my mother more than my father--real odd phenomenon) and she was shocked that I wasn't at JD's either, but that's ok because she didn't make me feel like I wasn't wanted at the house. I was somewhat upset that I hadn't stayed at JD's though because my parents didn't go out and socialize with their friends like they usually do on Saturday nights, so I was forced to be in their presence all night.
Fortunately, they both worked again on Sunday and I ran errands for my mom and then when my mom and dad got back from working they had plans to go see a play called Triple Espresso with friends and would be gone until 10pm-ish. So, instead of driving the 2.5 hours back to school yesterday I decided to just stay at home (rather than put up with my bitchy/whiney roommate an extra night) and get up at the crack and drive back today for my class at 9'er.
So, I was up at 6 am this morning, took a shower in record time (likely because I ran out of hot water since my mom had just taken her shower) and quickly slapped on "my face" and headed out the door. I had to get gas and thought my ears and nose were going to break off if I touched them it was THAT FUCKING COLD OUT! Shy-zah!* Thank God for Pay-at-the-Pump is all I have to say.
It was a rather eventful drive for me, emotionally that is. I just couldn't stop asking myself why I was driving back up to a place where I am hardly ever happy. I hate coming back to my room because my roommate is ALWAYS in the room and people are always coming in and out while I'm trying to get things done; if I want to sleep someone is always talking, the lights are always on, or my roommate is typing on her laptop and I just can't sleep through that shit!; I have no escape anymore because JD isn't up at school anymore and so I have to put up with the roommate and thinking about how much I'd rather not be up here another second ALL NIGHT LONG. Then, I was thinking about how I'm hardly ever happy at home either though because I feel like my dad would rather not acknowledge the fact that I am his daughter...I just wish I could come how for an ENTIRE weekend and it just be ME there by myself or with my brother (like it was when my 'rents went to Florida for a week at the end of January)...that ROCKED! I fortunately have an escape now that JD is only 25 minutes from my house and I love the fact that we can have it just be "our place" and not have anyone else around. I just love being held and cuddling or simply just being in the same room with the man! (awwwwwww) =P
Besides all that I just couldn't help but start to bawl when I was listening to the Dixie Chicks song "Cowboy Take Me Away"...after reading this and listening to the lyrics (see the next entry), you'll understand why I was bawling. Not to mention on top of everything just thinking about the beginning of this school year and how rocky things were for JD and me and how my feelings strayed toward another guy (Taylor) and how I don't think those feelings are all gone...IT JUST SUCKS! I just want to know if 1) I can/will ever be happy, and 2) if I can/will ever ALLOW myself to be happy...
Note to Reader (cuz it's pralle just you Gus)...
*SHY-ZAH! for those of you that have been fortunate enought to see "Austin Powers 3:Goldmember" is what one of the villans, the aptly named 'Goldmember' says and I've just taken a liking to it.
current mood:  indescribable
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| Thursday, February 6th, 2003
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10:13 pm - oh the complete hatred i have for the man
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So I have come to the conclusions that:
1) My dad hates me, and
2) I have so much anger and pure hatred for my dad it's unreal...
I don't know what I can do to make him even slightly happy anymore. It's Thursday night and I came home from BV because I just can't stand being up there and I decided not to say hello to my father because I didn't think that he would give a flying fuck if I said anything anyways. My mom told him that I was home and he's like, "Oh yeah? Why?" like I must have some hidden agenda for being home.
Um...hello, you're still my fucking father no matter what has happened that has caused us not to be as close as we used to be.
I used to be a "daddy's girl" until I got sick and then my dad just lost all respect for me because I was choosing to excel at being sick rather than excel at recovering. Sorry Dad, but having "it" is quite different than trying to kick a smoking addiction--which you still have yet to do you liar!
Ok, well I don't want to bother anyone else with my venting here, so I'll just have hateful thoughts all myself while I sit here watching "That 70's Show", at least Fez can always make me giggle.
current mood:  pissed off
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| Tuesday, February 4th, 2003
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1:48 pm - ...but I still have like 2 weeks of PINK left...
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So this morning I didn't feel to hot! I wasn't feeling the greatest last night either and after I came back from the bathroom I realized WHY I haven't been feeling the greatest. I thought 'the pill' was supposed to help regulate periods, not fuck them up even more. Yeah, you guessed it...mine's here and it's 2 WEEKS EARLY! What is that shit all about? I don't get it. My thoughts on the whole period issue are these: why can't the egg just be there forever and if it's fertilized at some point great...baby time. Otherwise, what the hell is the point of bleeding from a rather interesting place in the body for a week?
As most every one of my friends knows...I am addicted to shows like "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette" and "Joe Millionaire". So, last night I had night class and had to record "Joe Millionaire" and I must admit, for all the crap that guy gets about lying to those women about having 50 million dollars, he seriously feels bad misleading them becasue "he really likes these girls." I'm just glad that the guy FINALLY got rid of Melissa (not Mo Jo, the one with the frizzy black curly hair). I just hope he realizes that once Sarah finds out he doesn't have the supposed inheritance that she's going to flip her lid and drop him on his ass. The only truly genuine lady on that show is Zora and she is too afriad that Evan will think badly of her because she doesn't come from money. I just hope in the end he picks the right one...wink wink ZORA!!!!
So I get this "URGENT RECALL NOTICE" from some auto shop in Pella, Iowa last week (actually they sent it to my dad) and I called the 1-800 number and found out that some ignition wire in my car needs to be replaced because it melts down and stuff. Uh...my car is a 1996, so why in the HELL did it take them this long to find out that a part is defective, I meant seeeeeeeeeeeeriously people! So...yeah me! I get to drive to Pella on Friday (I was going to Newton anyways, but that's besides the point) because the damn shop isn't open on the weekends...how ridiculous is that?!?!?!? Guess I'll just have to speed (cough cough...HAVE TO) so that I can get the car there by 3pm...dun dun dun
I wish I could come up with something interesting to say, but I'll leave you with this...
LIKE SANDS THROUGH THE HOURGLASS...SO ARE THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES! Jennifer is pregnant with Colin Murphy's baby...are ya nuts?!?!?!?
current mood:  giggly
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2:16 am - Bibidee Bobidee Boo
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Let's see...it's 2 in the freaking morning and I'm not at ALL tired. Pretty sad don't you think considering I didn't go to bed until 2 am yesterday and got up at 8 am. Yeah, having class again really sucks! I am so incredibly serious when I say I'm thinking about leaving this hell hole knowns as Buena Vista HIGH SCHOOL. Yeah, I swear that's what this college is...a damn high school. Seeeeriously now! People have nothing better to do than talk about other people and piss and moan about the most minute things in life.
I had night class tonight and we were discussing ethical dilemmas that had to do with war, coma patients, surogate mothers, abortion, the death penalty and other stuff, yet there are people all around me complaining about how their hair is "ugly and stringy and won't do anything". Blah! Ask for a flippin Fairy God Mother or something to come wave her magic wand so your hair, make up and body will be "PERFECT"! Puh-leeeeze!
My boyfriend of close to 3 years has recently moved to Newton, Iowa to start his permanent management position. He's never lived on his own (well, he had his own dorm room for 3 years of college, but never had to 'come home to an empty house' type deal). His first day at his new position was today and he's already hating it. He doesn't know what he's doing with his life and just hates basically everything about not being in college and just enjoying life. I wish there was something I could do for him, but I am close to 3 hours away and I have to go to class in order to graduate this summer and be able to live with him. Life is a bitch...let's just put it at that.
Well, enough venting for one entry I spose...considering Mal is the only who is reading this...NIGHTY NIGHT GUS...hope your arm is doing better.
current mood:  distressed
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| Monday, February 3rd, 2003
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12:01 pm - A Ding Dang Do...
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So let's just put it this way...it's the first day of classes for 2nd semester of my senior year in college and I am already procrastinating and finding ways to put off reading any of the bullshit the profs have assigned. Seeeeriously now, who really wants to read when "A Makeover Story" is on TLC!
I have been fortunate enough to receive a free pass code from my bossom buddy (not really but yeah ok) Mal, a.k.a. "buttcheese", and am going to try to keep up with this LIVE JOURNAL thing to the best of my abilities. I'm certain that my entries won't be half as funny as hers, but deal with it!
It's freaking frigid in my lil dorm room and I only have my laptop to keep me warm (I swear the thing would start on fire if it didn't have its own built in cooling fan--shiza). My roomate is fortunately still at class...I dunno what it is about her that bugs the eva-luvin crap out of me, but I just can't stand being around the girl. The worst time of day is when she's talking to her boyfriend (a 22-year-old guy people call "Mikey") in the world's most childish baby talk. It's seriously the worst display of lovey dovey-ness a person could ever experience...and it's a NIGHTLY thing! Her-umph!
Well, I guess I don't have anything more to say for the time being, I still have to figure out how to get my journal to not be white with a purplish border...hmmmmm...wish me luck!
current mood:  blah
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